This quote is from the Television show The Wire, where Avon is explaining to another person that he needs a piece of the pie. Don't worry, we will have plenty of time to talk about The Wire, why The Wire is one of the best shows of all time, etc. etc. etc. The Apprisal is going to blast that topic into "hyperspace" in the near future. "Hyperspace" is a phrase i saw used by Michio Kaku recently, I have no idea what it means but it sounds epic. Oh by the way, without ruining the plot Avon Barksdale is a drug dealer.
This idea that you provide a service, get compensated for said service, is what a large percentage of what our country is founded upon. It's called commerce. Once upon a time, this idea went off the rails like that train in the new Denzel movie (haven't seen it), and I would like to go back in time and try to stop it from happening. Like when the robots tried to kill John Connor in Terminator 1. Although those future robots were hell bent on destroying humanity, at least they had their priorities straight.
Side Note: I don't think that there is a self-fulfilling prophecy BIGGER than:
Humans create super intelligent robots.
Robots become autonomous.
1,000 year robot vs. human war.
I didn't need this money, here you go!
A lot of people in this society get compensated for doing little to nothing. I am under the impression that if I walk into a dealership, buy a new car, I don't throw 18% on top of the purchase price and say "Hey thanks for not driving that 2011 Hyundai Elantra straight through the dealership wall into that group of Tiburons until the accident sensor disabled the engine."
A famous argument against tipping is in the first few minutes of the movie "Reservoir Dogs"
Steve Buscemi's character highlights the contradiction in society. People work just as hard if not harder for similar jobs, but society deems them not tip worthy. If you don't tip where it is expected, you come off looking cheap. What a genius who proliferated this concept. If a company could duplicate this today I could not find the words to describe how insane it would be. Could you imagine going into the Apple Store and having to sign on a receipt with a gratuity line? They charge a premium for their product, but so do other businesses we tip everyday. Thanks for not using my boxed iPod as a hacky sack in the backroom on your lunch break!
Automatic Gratuity
I don't understand this at all. What do you think is harder serving, one group of 6 people? Or 3 groups of 2 people? It's not like they split the bill up the majority of the time anyways.
Always Tip Your Bartender!
I don't have a proposed solution for completely changing a societal problem, but i think I have a jumping off point- the bar. I am sure if you are reading this, you have heard some iteration of "Always Tip your bartender!" I have a new phrase "Almost never tip your bartender". Rolls off the tongue real nice, like house whiskey. Why do people tip the bartender? To appease them like some kind of demi-god. Instead of sacrificing human life or an infantile goat to ensure good crops, it's in a feeble attempt to get a little extra splash of poison in our drink of choice so it doesn't taste like watered down Coca-Cola.
Here are 2 great methods for avoiding this:
1. Drink Beer. They can still charge $3 for a bottle, but they can't water it down! Nothing is better than some career bartender reaching in a cooler 3-1/2 steps away, popping the top and setting it in front of you 4 seconds later, and giving you extra "ones" in your $17 in change. Like I'm going to look down and say "Wow, I am not only unable to count all these, but there is no way these are all going to fit in my wallet! Excuse me bar keep? Would you have a use for these?"
2. I am very proud of this next method- The goldfish tip. Have you ever sprinkled a little fish food into the tank and seen what happens? the fish go crazy. From there on out, all you have to do is wave you hand above the water and the fish are eager to please. Tip your bartender a small amount on your first drink. From there on out, zilch. Like the goldfish they are feverish with anticipation, and like the goldfish bartenders have bad memories (working at nighttime and sleeping during the day cannot be good for the body or mind).
If they don't get compensated fairly at a place that clears about 80-90% on everything they sell, that's between them and their employer. Serving drinks that are most commonly composed of ice, Liquid X shot out of a mixer gun, and some alcohol Y, doesn't sound too complicated. I have a Muscle Milk shake on the regular, which involves milk, protein powder, a blender, and I like to pour it into a glass with a little bit of ice. I don't consider this skilled, laborious, and don't look around my apartment confused yelling "Help! Help!!!!"
Side Note: Isn't it weird how anytime you have a drink that involves ice at home, you might throw a few cubes in it. As soon as you leave your house, it's some kind of ice festival. I wonder if people in the service industry are aware that ice floats in most liquids? "Oh, whiskey cola? no problem! Let me just grab this 10 oz. tumbler, scoop it overflowing with ice, and smash the top of it with this ice scoop to make sure there isn't room for actual drink in here! Here's your $6 in change, all in one's."
Moral of the Story
I think it's ironic I used to work at a place that had it written that employees were forced to refuse tips, in an industry that we weren't expected to get tips. Which means, the two times a year we were offered a tip for going "above and beyond", we probably did deserve it, and we could technically face reprimands if we accepted. Instead, we have a workforce of mostly unskilled laborers that dump out this magical barrel of free money at the end of their shifts. Just remember, the next time some bellhop etc. wants his/her palm greased, you better do it. You don't want to look cheap!
Sharing Is Caring!
Every week, I will try pass along a few interesting articles, etc. I stumble upon. Because The Apprisal cares about you, the reader.
Interesting article on the legality of Automatic Gratuity
This also highlights one of the more frustrating aspects of law, "open to interpretation"
Starbucks people trying to get their taste
Fred Armisen on the Adam Carolla Show (Podcast)
From SNL and Portlandia fame, he swings by to talk in depth about Doctor Drew, and not surprisingly Portland
This is the brand of the alcohols distilled at Green Dragon, one of the Zwickelmania spots we stopped at on Saturday
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